i dont even know how to express how i feel at the stage, its like everything in the world has become so much more amazing that the things i used to idolise and look forward to seem so miniature in comparison, its like just laying down in the grass and gazing into the sky can seem stupid to one person but can mean the world to me, literally there is a whole universe out there, and i am living in a tiny bubble of that, when i can, i am out i am leaving and i am gone, i need to see the things ive only ever dreamt about

i dont think you can see that going through everyday having a bad attitude, feeling sorry for yourself and wishing you were somewhere else isnt going to help you in any way shape or form, its just making you feel like shit and its making me feel like shit too, all you want is to be happy right? all you have to do is try, just try to slow down for a second, realise how lucky you are to have everything you have, try to embrace the good things instead of dwelling on the bad, the world has so much to offer, and you havent even seen half of it, theres so much to come, i know its hard but you have to be brave, and i promise you, happiness will come. 

Maybe, I never had a problem… Maybe I always was happy. I just convinced myself to be sad, because I needed that intensity. Happiness sometimes, isn’t satisfactory. Pain is easier to posses then joy. So I grasped onto every sad moment, hoping for something to move me. For me to inconsequentially feel. But it’s dangerous to need that intensity, so I numb out pain all together- that way I don’t crave that overpowering emotion. But recently i’ve been able to find overwhelming happiness in the simplest of things, i feel some what slower in the way i go about my day, the cravings are leaving 

I just want to go far away. Not because my life is that bad, not because I’m treated badly, and not because i’m scared but because now and then us humans.. Well we miss certain things that are overlooked on a day to day basis. I guess those minuscule holes are screaming at me to be repaired- thats whats required to feel whole is it not?  I seem to think that getting in a car and just driving fast down a highway- not knowing where the fuck im going, just moving, just getting away from that same old bullshit routine. I love small towns, “insignificant ” places that suprisingly make up those missing pieces. Those little places make you whole. If it takes an adventure to find yourself. If it takes a quiet read in a park. If it takes floating effortlessy in the ocean.. Do it. For to be happy it is vital to first stop, and then go. Just go

I like drinking tea alone and reading alone. I like riding the bus to school alone and walking home alone. it gives me time to think and set my mind free. I like eating alone and listening to music alone. but when I see a mother with her child, a girl with her lover, or a friend laughing with their best friend, I realize that even though I like being alone, I don’t fancy being lonely. the sky is beautiful, but the people are sad, I just need someone who can see that too, someone who won’t run away.